Nancy Boy

I have had a long standing rule that each child only has one insulting name at a time. My son, who's eight months, started as Nancy Boy but later had to wear a helmet causing his official name to change to Helmet Head. Nancy Boy was put on the bench. Last night, I attempted to feed Helmet Head Chicken and Stars soup made for babies. It was a paste with just a little bit of texture. The moment the paste passed Helmet Head's lips he gagged and threwup all of the Chicken and Stars as well as the jar of peas and brown rice I fed him earlier. Helmet Head is not able to handle Chicken and Stars paste therefore I will break my own rule and alternatively refer to him as Helmet Head and Nancy Boy.