Gym Time

For the entire lives of my 5 year old and 6 year old my wife and I made a big deal about how strong they were. When they flexed their muscles we oohed. When they lifted pillows over their heads we awed. We pinched their flexed arms and exclaim, "How strong!" For awhile, we even pretended that their muscles were so strong that it hurt our fingers to pinch them. Between the two kids, that's 11 years of muscular encouragement.

My 5 year old asked us what we did while they were at school. We told them that we were going to the gym. My 5 year old pinched my arm and said, "It's not so strong, Dad. Work harder." While I bit my tongue, holding in the nasty remark I would have made had anyone else said that, my 6 year old pinched my wife's flexed arms. "It's kind of soft, Mom," she said. Then she called to my 5 year old and said, "Pinch Mom. She's like a marshmallow." Now I had a whole new set of comments I knew better than to say.

General invite

I would like to extend an invitation to all of the naked old men in the gym's locker room to continue conversation on the treadmills. Generally speaking, the less likely I am to actually see your prostate, the more I will be engaged in your story about said prostate. So, come on. Put on your tighty whitey's and let's never talk in the locker room again.

Workless paradise

Ok. I haven't been as productive this week as I had planned. Last Friday was my last day on the job. I spent much of the end of the week preparing to leave, so I didn't do my daily job hunting. I had to catch up with that. I had to file unemployment. My wife's grandmother had a stroke, so Tuesday we spent visiting her (after voting of course). All of this adds up to, I haven't been living my schedule.

My wife has dragged my overweight self to the gym twice this week and will probably try to do it again tomorrow. The job hopes I had lined up seemed to be running thin. I think being home is throwing the kids off too. They like having me home, at least they better like having me home, but it is different.

I'm hoping next week becomes a little smoother as all adjust a little better.

Daddy's home

Today is my first work day where I am unemployed. I used to come home from work and my daughters would sing, "Daddy's home from where he roam." Today as I came down the stairs they called, "Daddy's home from where he didn't roam." They are getting clever.

Even though I wasn't rushing off to work, we were running late. I banned talking from breakfast to catch us back up. Once finished, dressed and ready to go out the door, the girls decided that they needed to make up for lost talking time by repeating everything. Once finished, dressed and ready to go out the door, the girls decided that they needed to make up for lost talking time by repeating everything.

My wife managed to get me to the Y for a workout. I don't remember signing up for that when I was laid off. Working out is just cruel to someone in my condition. Besides, they don't let you take chocolate onto the treadmills. Barbarians.