Friday, November 21, 2008

Grandma's packing

I was holding my baby boy at a family event. Suddenly I smelled something quite terrible coming from his diaper. I don’t mean to brag but Helmet Head has a high reek to size ratio and reek he did. Being a loving and caring father, I tickled his chin until he was laughing very adorably and handed him to his mother. I quickly walked away because my wife and I haven’t agreed on no-give-baby-backsies rules. After a moment’s pleasure in Helmet Head’s laughs, my wife passed our laughing and reeking son to a cousin before quickly walking away. From relative to relative our son passed until an aunt passed him to grandma. Grandma took him away to change him in a well ventilated room.

Being a patriot, I asked myself, “How can my country benefit from what I just saw?” The answer is fairly obvious. Since people automatically walk away from the smell of dirty diapers, if we make all national secrets smell like dirty diapers so spy will still our information. They may pick it up but they won’t leave the building before handing it off to some security guard.

Whenever proposing a major change in tactics, one must ask how would the competition respond. Clearly international spy services would start recruiting grandmas, who seem immune to dirty diapers. 007 would be obsolete but the Golden Girls would start packing heat.


The Logisitician said...

I'd be curious to know what the "pass the smell" around exercise reveals about generational differences.

Douglas said...

Ah yes, that was called "pass the stinky baby" (a variation of musical chairs)when it was played at my house. I was adept at avoidance.

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