peeing on my floor

I came home and my wife calls out in a cheery voice, “Daddy, do you know what your daughter did? She peed on the floor. Isn’t that great? We have to get her a reward.”

My wife sounded sober and there were no near empty margarita glasses near her. I could detect no sarcasm in her voice and no invitation for me to honestly answer exactly how great I thought it was for my daughter peed on my floor. My daughter looked proud of peeing on my floor.

“Alright!” I unconvincingly cheer. “Good job honey!”

Today, my wife was getting ready to give the girls a bath. She had them go to their rooms and undress. My youngest daughter came running out of her room (naked) and pisses all over the hallway. My wife started to get upset but then my oldest daughter spoke up.

Apparently yesterday my daughter had yet another accident on the carpet in our house that is mostly wood floors. My wife, in frustration, tells my daughter if she is going to have an accident try to have it on the wood floor. It is easier to clean there. So when my youngest daughter peed on the hardwood floor in the hallway instead of on the carpet in her room, she was doing as she was told. We celebrated.